we get this every year, i have no idea why that girl just can't be like the rest of the girls in the school and score good grades.
the gist of what they say later on:
old man: this girl is so stupid, i'm ashamed to have her as a daughter.
woman: why can't she be a little smarter and do more. is the teacher helping? why didn't you say when you could not understand? we could have helped you know? you are so stupid as to never say, you never seem to try your best, can't you be sensible like your friends and do well.
what i want to say but can't:
I'm not my friends, the school i'm in happens to be the top, the people i'm competing with are the cream of the crop, they are all smarter then me and obviously are the type that you like. no matter how hard i try, i'll never live up to your standard, i can never top the whole of singapore like my friends, i can never be obedient and not rebel. i can try my best in my grades, i can study throughout the holidays, but i will never reach their standard. no matter what i do, i will never be liked by you, because as long as i cannot be the highest, no matter how much improvement i've shown since the previous year, it is never enough for you, because i'm not as perfect, as smart, as talented, as socially adept as you want your perfect child to be.
this is all i want to say but can't. i cut again, i broke my promise, because i cannot find a way to express out the hurt that you cause me. of course, you will never bother to ask about the scars on my arm, because it doesn't help my grades.
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