Haven't been posting, partly due to having nothing interesting to talk about and partly due to going out to study at night. Been going for walks after the studying sessions, just to find a peace with myself that seems to have dissappeared, still havent found it though.
During the night walks, I realise I subconciously look at the night sky, looking for the familiar orion's belt. Dont really know why, considering I never possessed an interest in astrology. The first time I was introduced to it was during obs last year, so it might be that i'm searching for something in my past to grasp on to when there is nothing to pull me through now?
Or it might be escapism, trying to deny the reality that i'm turning disillusioned as time passes, even my friends comment that my views are so cynical or realistic, they lack the vibrancy of life that I see in my friends, because the ability to find simple joy in things is lost on me.
Or it might be just wanting to return to a time where academic grades did not matter, to be in sync with nature, to once again learn how it was like to be mixing with friends and not worry over the competition existant in school.
Had national day celebrations today, generally quite boring, but community singing was fun, probably due to the actions added by most of us to the words. Monday is the actual day, so codeRED is going into action then =p an advice to people on that day, try to avoid taking certain forms of transportation if you're not used to um, cheerful atmospheres?
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