class had change of seats. -shouts a big HI to atiq and cihan, new table mates^^- not that it really affects me, i'm still in the same seat Xp classmates are wonderful as usual, and the growth chart, rotfl, wonder when the people beyond the great divide will sail across =p
feeling exhausted, both physically and mentally, but i still have school, and the workload is piling so high, it's going to fall down and crush me. i feel like turning in one corner and cryng, but i can't. on tuesday, when i walked to the busstop from feiya's house after studying, i couldn't stop looking at the skies and the stars. the nightsky seem to absorb everything but the light of the stars.
now whenever i look at stars, i think of obs and jacob and eng soon, the memories of kayaking in the sea, the songs that we sang, the rainbow that we saw, the meals that we had together. i feel an aching emptiness in me. its been nearly one year since, nd i still yearn for that place. i guess it comes from not having through bonded or talked to anyone for 6 years straight, having to put on a mask, because if i didn't, i wouldn't be able to go through life, i wouldn't be able to block out the questions, to control and hide the pain that i feel. that was the only time i ever cried at a parting, i never cried at a parting before, i was always the one who was dry-eyed, but at that time, the tears just kept spilling over.
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