keep catching the replay of get real everytime I surf channels and it is always the same episode, that of people who cut. Whenever I watch it, I keep thinking back, When did I first cut? Where did I pick it up? How did i stop? and I turn up with few answers. I can't find them for the first and second question but for the third, it seems like my problem was never solved, only that I lost my blade and never bought another. I hadn't solved my problem, probably because I never knew what it was.
Still can't figure out what pushed me to do such stuff, not that i'm disgusted by myself but i want to know the reason behind my actions and the purpose of these scars. Most of them have faded but the deeper ones still remain. Surprisingly, I still remember when these were inflicted.
Sometimes, I want to place the whole episode behind but it just sticks in my mind. Probably because it was a phase that I needed to go through to mature, or i just needed to realise how to handle problems in a different way. Whichever it is, I'm sort of glad i had it because it is a fragment of my past and I wouldn't be what I am today if not for it =S
Have prelims coming up soon but still can't find the motivation to study for it, so am going off to try now =p Ciao
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